The Nature of a Surprise

I think most often when we hear the word, "surprise," we think of parties, vacations, and gifts. All good things, right? Well, I guess it depends a little bit on the circumstances, doesn't it?

What about the surprise birthday party you show up to with absolutely no makeup on, your greasy hair pulled back in a ponytail, and your ratty ol' sweatpants you threw on right before you left the house? Or the backpacking "vacation" your husband excitedly surprises you with, when you don't have nearly the same enthusiasm he does about roughing it. Or the secondhand gift your great aunt Ruth lovingly gave you for Christmas last year. The one where you had to fake smile when you opened it and say "awww, thank you so much! That was so thoughtful of you!" but then donated it to Goodwill a week later? Yeah, that one.

Those are all surprises. But at the time, we're not really sure if they fall in the "good" category or not.

Well, at the beginning of the year, my husband and I received a surprise. A big one! After taking a pregnancy test mid-January, we realized how big of a surprise it was.

We were pregnant! A good thing? Well, at the time, we weren't really sure. Our calendar was already filling up for the year, with appointments for Corban, homeschooling commitments, daily life juggling acts, therapy visits, and more appointments for Corban. Could we fit a baby into the schedule??

There was also the slight sense of panic that came over me when I thought of something similar happening this time around that had happened the last time God decided to give us a very special gift. After this great meat-grinder of life that God put us in by giving us Corban, we were nervous and a bit shell shocked at the thought of what this new little one might bring.

Let me insert a quick note here. We love our little Corban to death! We are super thankful to have him in our lives! He IS a special gift from God and we wouldn't trade him if we could. When I talk about the difficulties of having Corban in our lives, I do not in any way wish him out of the picture. It's just really, stinkin' hard sometimes.

So, in my midnight prayers and contemplations about this new gift, I told the Lord, "I think I can handle another baby. I think I would even enjoy another baby. Another baby would bring a new joy to our lives and a feeling of redemption over what was lost. I could handle that! I just can't handle another 5 month-long NICU battle for my baby's life, mixed with the strong and sobering reality of a lifelong commitment of care, surgeries, therapies, etc. I'm not ready for that again."

Toward the beginning of March we went in for a 12 week ultrasound, and I held my breath the entire time. The ultrasound tech pulled up the image of our baby on the screen, and while it was great and all to see there was a baby inside of me, I didn't see any movement.

"Can we see movement this early on in the pregnancy?" I nervously asked. "Absolutely!" she replied. She then proceeded to rapidly (but gently) hit my belly with the ultrasound device. Great sighs of relief came over us, as immediately we saw one leg kick, then the other leg, then an arm reaching, then fingers stretching, then finally a great-big-back-arch and a roll-to-the-side grand finale. Our baby was healthy and very active! Hallelujah!! We didn't have to worry any longer. We didn't have to wonder any more.

At that point we mustered up the courage to start sharing the news. After a couple weeks of surprising some of our friends and family members, we finally told the kids.

I think it would be a gross understatement to say they were excited. All of them (even Corban) were thrilled! And right away, "everyone" started asking for a girl.

The biggest cheerleader of course, was our daughter. She has asked for a sister for the past year or so and has begged and pleaded and pleaded and begged that we give her one. I've told her many times that there's always a chance we could adopt and perhaps she could have a sister then.

But when we told her we were having another baby, she right away declared, "I hope it's a girl!!!" And of course, everyone around her joined in the chorus: "I hope it's a girl! I hope it's a girl!"

The more that we declared, "we hope it's a girl" the more nervous I became that it wasn't. After all, God doesn't always give us what we ask for. In fact, He often doesn't give us what we ask for. He has an uncanny way of dishing up big ol' plates of Brussels sprouts instead of the Snickers bar milkshakes that we request.

So, when we went in for our 18 week ultrasound today, we were all hopeful, but preparing ourselves for the real possibility that it might be a boy.

Which one would be better for us? A baby sister for a very hopeful daughter? Or an active brother for a son to roughhouse with? We were all anxious to find out! Ultimately we couldn't determine these things. It was in God's hands.

So, what did the good Lord choose for us, you might ask?? A healthy plate of Brussels sprouts or a delicious Snickers bar milkshake?

To our great surprise, He chose for us.......
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A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!